McCarty Metro News

Dateline Lebanon

A war of words has sprung up between Larry McCarty and Attorney General, Janet Reno. After incidents in Waco, TX and with the Heavens Gate cult, Reno has had her eye on the small town of Lebanon. The Metro has done some first hand reporting and to answer some of Ms. Renos' allegations.

Allegation	Truth
Larry has called himself "The King of Kings"	False. Larry however does imitate "The King" (Elvis)
Larry calls his property "The Compound"	True. But who doesn't!!!
Larry owns 100 pairs of Nike gym shoes and purple shrouds.	True. But that was his severance pay when he left PicWay.
Larry claims to have "Walked on Water"	False. Larry though does do a mean head first slider down his Slip & Slide.
Larry has experimented with explosives late at night from midnight to 2 AM.	False. Anybody that truly knows Larry can attest to the fact that he has never ignited any explosive after dusk.
Ms. Reno also states that she is a woman who is concerned about the people of Lebanon.	False. SHE'S A MAN, BAYBEE!!!!

Dateline Saudi Arabia

The contest is over and the "Most Desirable Bachelor in Saudi Arabia" was crowned. Achmed Zzzzyz won the title over Abu Phlem, Slsjlkfsl Jlslkds. A metro reader was leading the competition until judges found out that he was "stuffing" his pocket protector.

Dateline Macomb

Move over Bill Gates. The newest version of Windows has been released in Macomb. No, it's not Windows 95, or even Windows 98. It is Weather Guard Windows, on display now at Mom's house. Mom even is one step above Microsoft.... If she has a problem with her Windows, the whole house will NOT crash.

Dateline Valencia
What's this I hear about a fever???? Stay tuned for more information!!!!

See ya next month...

Click Here To Go To The Next Page

Click Here To Return To The Metro Home Page