Jerry's

takes a look at

Christmas
Reporter Note...
I have decided to let my good friend Santa Claus use my column to talk to all of the McCarty kids. -Jer

Merry Christmas McCarty Kids,

I've been giving presents to McCarty kids each year for a long time, but lately, my temper is as short as a slouching elf.

You kids always ask me, "Where's Rudolph?" "How come you don't have Rudolph with you this year?" Well boys and girls, if you want to see a red nose, you're gonna have to find Joe Morrison. Last month, we stopped for lunch at a McDonalds near Jackson, MI, and some Detroit cop killed Rudolph with a bow and arrow!!!

And the way you McCarty kids want all your presents wrapped is driving me nuts. I spend a month wrapping that stuff. Before I would just dump them in piles in the basement. Sure, the wrapped gifts look great, but do you know how hard it is to wrap pistachios!!!

I also want to give you a tip on what to do if you don't like your presents or if you break them on Christmas morning. Do what your parents did. Just exchange them for something in your brother or sister's pile. I remember one year, little Jerry McCarty slept in and got 8 packages of Silly Putty.

And finally, if you are thinking of leaving me a cookie and milk, unless it's a chocolate chip cookie, KEEP IT!!! I got better things to do at night that forcing down some stale store-bought, no brand, sandwich cookie that no one else in your house will eat.

But most of all,
Have a Merry Christmas.

Santa

Click Here To Go To The Next Page

Or

Click Here To Return To The Metro Home Page