What'll You Have?

WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO DRINK, BE SURE TO SAY AN IRISH TOAST!
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ST. PATRICK'S DAY TOAST

Saint Patrick was a gentleman,
Who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland,
Here’s a drinkee to his health.
But not too many drinkees
Lest you lose yourself and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see all those snakes again.

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Let's start off with just who is Saint Patrick. Patrick was actually born in Britain to pretty wealthy parents. He was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken to Ireland when he was around 16. Poor fella, scared half to death and left to work with sheep in the fields - he turned to his religion to get through it all. His father was a deacon, though not particularly religious. Young Patrick was held captive 6 years and finally escaped. He made his way back to Britain, studied and returned to Ireland to spread the word of Christianity. Now the Irish in 400 A.D. didn't have many Christians among them. Most celebrated Pagan holidays which included a lot of bonfires. Saint Patrick got them to celebrate Easter with a bonfire! He also added a sun to the cross - now it's the familiar Celtic Cross. Saint Patrick's Day is celebrated March 17th - the day Patrick died (somewhere around 460 A.D.). 

So why do we celebrate Saint Patrick's Day at all? Surely you've heard of the story of Saint Paddy chasing all the snakes out of Ireland? Supposedly he stood on a hilltop (Croagh Patrick is the name now) with a wooden staff and banished all the snakes. Not true. There were never any snakes to begin with. The story is a great metaphor for the eradication of pagan celebrations and holidays and the triumph of Christianity. 200 years after Patrick returned, Ireland was completely Christianized. In 1962 the city of Chicago died the Chicago River green. Not because it was St. Paddy's day - they were trying to find polluters! Then the city workers got the brilliant idea to dye the river green on St. Patrick's day!

Now why do we drink green beer on Saint Patrick's day? Certainly not because we are Irish. Green is not even a favorite color and some consider it bad luck. And who would spoil a good Guinness by making it green? Let's talk about Guinness. It has only four ingredients: malted barley, hops, yeast and water. It's got fewer calories than a pint of orange juice or skim milk. The roasting of the barley gives Guinness it's color and flavor and removes fermentable sugar from the malt. The closest genetic relative to the hops plant is cannabis. Hey - maybe that's where the green comes in! Frankly, I can't find a single good reason why we drink green beer - at least from the consumer stand point. Now, having been a bartender, green beer was not only fun to make, but fun to watch the people drink! The bars tend to buy the cheapest kegs available and sell the green beer at a ridiculous price. Not all bar owners do this.. 

St. Patrick's Day Cocktail (Irish Eyes)

1 oz. Irish whiskey
1/4 oz. green creme de menthe
2 oz. heavy cream

Shake well with crushed ice. Strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with maraschino cherry. 

St. Patrick's Green Cocktail (Midori Sour)

1 oz Midori melon liqueur
1 oz whiskey sour mix
2 oz Sprite soda

Fill a highball glass with ice. Add the midori, sour mix, sprite, and stir. 

Irish Coffee

2/3 part freshly brewed coffee
1/3 part Irish whiskey
2 tsp brown sugar

lightly whipped cream Into a stemmed glass, put two teaspoonfuls brown sugar; add one-third Irish Whiskey and two-thirds really hot, really strong black coffee. Stir well, then float whipped cream on top. 

St. Patrick's Day Party Punch (alcoholic)

2 (12 oz) cans frozen limeade concentrate
2 (12 oz) cans frozen lemonade concentrate
2 (2 liter) bottles lemon-lime flavored carbonated soda
1 (750 milliliter) bottle rum
2 quarts lime sherbet

In a large pot, combine limeade, lemonade and lemon-lime soda. Stir in rum. Mix in the lime sherbet.

NON-ALCOHOLIC ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARTY PUNCH (for the drivers and the kids)

4 liters lemon-lime carbonated soda
2 pints lime sherbet
6 cups crushed ice

In large punch bowl, pour in soda. Add sherbet. Add crushed ice. 

Festive Green Food Ideas for St. Patrick's Day: green jello, pistachio ice-cream, mint chocolate chip ice-cream, lime sherbet, green cookies or cupcakes with green icing, chips with guacamole, green M & Ms, celery sticks with cream cheese ( optional: color with green food coloring), any dessert topped with green whipped cream

Some people see April Fools day as a day symbolizing the change of seasons. Most see it as a day for Tom foolery, where tricks and mayhem take center stage. It's the prankster these goofy drinks have in mind.... but be sure to use them responsibly, or you may end up feeling like a fool on this day of mischief!
CHOCOLATE PRANK

Coffee Liqueur
Chocolate Syrup

Pour chocolate syrup into the bottom of a shot glass until ¼ full. Fill remainder of shot glass with coffee liqueur. Stir and serve. 
APPLE FOOL'S

1 Shot of Sour Apple Schnapps
1 Shot of Grenadine
Lemonade

Fill a tall glass tumbler with ice. Add alcohol and grenadine. Fill remainder of tumbler with lemonade. Serve.
JOLLY JOKERS

1 Shot of Vodka
Any Flavor Jolly Rancher Candy

Unwrap Jolly Rancher candy, place into a shot glass. Pour vodka over candy. Let sit at room temperature for one hour. Serve.
LAUGH A MINUTE

1 Shot of Cherry Flavored Vodka, or add 1/2 oz grenadine to any vodka
1 Shot of Vermouth
½ Shot of Amaretto Almond Liqueur
Lemonade

Pour alcohols into a shaker. Add ice. Shake. Fill a short glass tumbler with ice. Strain mixer into tumbler. Fill remainder of tumbler with lemonade. Serve. Optional: Garnish with a lemon wedge or cherries. 
TRICKSTER

1 Shot of Amaretto
1 Shot of Vodka
1 Shot of Brandy
1 Shot of Coffee Liqueur
1 Shot of Irish Cream
Milk

Fill a tall glass tumbler with ice. Add alcohol is order of listing. Fill remainder of tumbler with milk. Stir and serve.
FOUR JOKERS

1 Shot of Blackberry Schnapps
1 Shot of Jagermeister 
1 Shot of Peppermint Liqueur
1 Shot of Cinnamon Schnapps

Fill a short glass tumbler with ice. Add alcohol in order of listing. Stir and serve. 
ORCHARD HOAX

2 Shots of Peach Schnapps
Cranberry Raspberry Juice

Fill a short glass tumbler with ice. Add alcohol. Fill remainder of tumbler with cranberry raspberry juice. Serve. 
FUN SQUEEZE 

1 Shot of Rum
1 Shot of Blue Curacao 
Orange Juice

Fill a tall glass tumbler with ice. Add alcohol. Fill remainder of tumbler with orange juice. Serve.
Non-Alcoholic... FOOLS ICE

Cold tonic water with ice cubes, 
Garnish with a lime or lemon wedge.

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