OPTICAL ILLUSION?

You may not see it at first, but the yellow spaces create the word OPTICAL, while the blue landscape spells out ILLUSION.


METRO FUNNIES

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Right!  Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe... but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Don, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

METRO BOGGLE
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5 things that a McCarty may find on their Thanksgiving plate
.
LTPOG
LROTN
ONCAI
RKPTF
UEEOF
TYSTU
...

Answers

HOW TO PLAY BOGGLE: Search for words that can be constructed from the letters of adjacent cubes, where "adjacent" cubes are those horizontally, vertically or diagonally neighboring. Words must be at least three letters and may include singular or plural separately, but may not use the same letter cube more than once per word.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 WHEN...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

2008

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen .
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list..      

2008

The Seven Errors
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Pick out the seven differences between the two pictures
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EDDY'S SPOT

DETROIT LION HUMOR?
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Q. What do the Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 40,000 stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.
.
Q. How do you keep the Detroit Lions out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.
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Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief.
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Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and $1?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
.
Q. How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out.
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Q. What do the Detroit Lions and a possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

AUNTIE MARGARET'S CRAFT CORNER 

A THANKSGIVING PLAY

This play can be shortened or lengthened to suit the needs and skill levels of the children participating. Props can be simple puppets made from lunch bags or more complex marionettes. Use a large cardboard box for the backdrop. Paint, or draw with crayons, rolling hills, trees, a farm house and fence.

Narrator: There were once five turkeys, all born on the same day, but one turkey was not quite like the others.

Turkey #1: "Isn't it a beautiful morning? It is GREAT to be a Turkey today!"

Turkey #2: (Strutting around) "I am so proud to be a Turkey, don't you think we are beautiful?"

Turkey #3: "I think we are the most handsome creatures on earth!"

Turkey #4: "The four of us are definitely gorgeous to behold, but what happened to you (speaking to the Ugly Turkey)? You do not look like the rest of us, you are not as beautiful as we are."

The Ugly Turkey: "It is true I do not look like you, but won't you be my friend anyway? Are looks all that is important? I am a good friend, a good listener, and I would help any of you if you were in need."

Turkey #1: "Honestly, I don't think I want to be friends with someone who is so different from myself."

Turkey #2: "Yeah, you aren't cool like the rest of us."

Turkey #3: "We don't want to play with you."

Turkey #4: "Go away."

The Ugly Turkey: "I am sad that you will not be my friend. I will go away, surely there is someone who will like me for who I am and not what I look like."

Narrator: So The Ugly Turkey turned and walked away. He wandered over the hill and through the trees and the four Turkeys thought nothing of it. As time passed the four Turkeys grew bigger and fatter! They grew and grew until they were so round they could hardly walk. They were not quite so cute as they were when they were little. When the farmers grandchildren came to visit they would stop to look at the horses, the cows, the puppies and kittens. They would giggle as the ducks waddled by and squeal with delight as the sheep scampered over the hills, but when they saw the Turkeys they just kept walking, some even looked a bit scared. Then one day a strange animal showed up on the farm.

Turkey #1: "Who's that strange bird over there on the hill, does anyone know?"

Turkey #2: "He's beautiful isn't he? Look at his tail feathers, they're rich in color and intricately patterned."

Turkey #3: "Did you see the plume atop his head, like a crown of glory? He stands tall and perfectly trim."

Turkey #4: "Do you think he will want to be our friend, we are not near so grand as he is?"

Turkey #2: "Let's go introduce ourselves and see if he will join us."

Narrator: As the four Turkeys approached the beautiful bird on the hill they noticed that the bird looked familiar.

Turkey #1: "Hello. We were wondering if you would like to join us? You are so beautiful we would be honored to have you for a friend."

The Ugly Turkey: "Do I not look familiar to you? Once I tried to be your friend but you all rejected me saying I was ugly and different."

Turkey #3: "I remember. That was so long ago. You are definitely not ugly now! You are the most magnificent bird on this farm."

Turkey #4: (With head hung low) "If you do not want to be our friend we understand, we are not nearly so grand as we thought we once were."

(The four Turkeys turn to walk away)

Turkey #5: "We do not want to embarrass you, we will go away."

The Ugly Turkey: "Please don't go. Have you not learned anything while I was away? It is not what you look like on the outside that matters but what you are on the inside that is important. I would be happy to be your friend."

Narrator: So the four Turkeys and the Peacock took a stroll over the hill and through the trees. They were often all seen together strolling about. When the farmers grandchildren would visit they would often stop by the five birds, talking excitedly. The four Turkeys knew that that the children were looking at the beautiful Peacock, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter because they were all friends and they were all equal.

(All participants say, "THE END" in unison and take a bow)


Metro Phlash Game o' The Month