Mother's Day

THE ADVENTURES OF TABO & JABO	.
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What ingredients are mothers made of?
God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? We're related. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? His last name. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. She got too old to do anything else with him.  My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. (I love this one!) Who's the boss at your house? Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads? 
Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time? Mothers don't do spare time. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mom perfect? On the inside, she's al ready perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. Dye it. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.  I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

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Chinese family names are often formed (begin) with a sign that means mother. It's a nice way of honoring their moms long ago. 
Japan's Imperial family traces their descent from Omikami Amaterasu, the Mother of the World. 
Hindu scripture credits the Great Mother, Kali Ma, with the invention of writing via alphabets, pictographs and sacred images. 
George Washington once said, "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." 
Native American women have long been honored with the name, "Life of the Nation" for their gift of motherhood to the tribes.
Mother's Day is now celebrated in many countries around the world. Australia, Mexico, Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Belgium, Russia, China, Thailand, all have special celebrations to honor Mothers, but not in the same way or on the same day as the United States. 
In the Bible, Eve is credited with being the "Mother of All the Living."
Mother Earth is also known as "Terra Firma". That title is a Latin translation of some lines from one of the Greek poet, Homer's, greatest poems.
81% of women 40 to 44 years old are mothers. In 1980, 90 percent of women in that age group were mothers.
Buddha honored mothers when he said, "As a mother, even at the risk of her own life, loves and protects her child, so let a man cultivate love without measure toward the whole world." 
The Ancient Greeks celebrated Mother's Day in spring, like we do. They used to honor Rhea, "mother of the gods," with honey-cakes and fine drinks and flowers at dawn. Sounds like the beginnings of the Mother's Day tradition of breakfast in bed!
The Greek word "meter" and Sanskrit word "mantra" mean both mother and measurement.

SHOPPING ADVICE . . When you go to a store to purchase a Mother's Day present, do you have a problem deciding what to get? After all, if you're a man, spending time in the women's department can be intimidating.  Fortunately, McCarty men use some handy Mother's Day shopping guidelines -- passed down from their father, Bob McCarty -- to make the trip easier.  Our rules: 1. Bigger is better. When shopping, look for the big bottles. Perfume? Fine, but don't get the expensive stuff that comes in those tiny glass containers. Instead, look for scented water in oversized bottles. Ask for 2 liters. Remember, bigger usually is cheaper, also. 2. Flowers from the supermarket. Sure, you could go to a flower shop and pay 40 or 50 bucks for a nicely arranged spring bouquet, but why would you do that? You can pick up a bouquet in wrapping paper from the supermarket for 5 or 6 dollars. And that's not even with a sale. Come home, get a vase, put 'em in water and yell, "Happy Mother's Day." 3. Greeting card. A card is staple for Mother's Day. Stay away from those expensive tri-fold, pop-up or glitzy cards, though. Instead, look for the bargain cards in drug stores. After all, they express the same sentiment. And you can save a few bucks in the process. Best buy -- look for blank cards and you write your own message. 4. Dinner out: Give Mom a break from preparing meals and, instead, take her to a restaurant and let her be the pampered one. Let her choose -- Burger King, McDonald's, Wendy's or, go ahead and splurge, KFC. Remember, this is mom's day, so let her supersize.

THINGS TO REMEMBER . . Fighting with your mom on Mother's Day is a strict no-no. Restrain yourself even if you disagree with her on some point. A quarrel on mother's day will spoil the whole day for both of you.  Your M-Day celebrations should be planned and executed keeping in mind her preferences, not yours. It's her day, remember?  Plan ahead of the big day. Choose and collect flowers and all from beforehand. Reserve a couple of seats at your preferred restaurant ahead of your M-day celebrations. This will ensure a smooth execution of all your plans on the big day, just as you want it to be. As for the gift, get her something that she'll cherish, even if it's not tangible and is utterly indulgent such as a spa treatment or a vacation with her friends. Do not present her with utility clothes or gifts that take a lot of effort to assemble. Spend some time and thought in choosing the right gift that will suit her tastes. A well thought-out gift will make your mom remember the day every time she uses it. Last but not the least, be sincere in your celebrations of this day. Think yourself lucky to have got the chance to pay a tribute to that special person who cared less of her pains to let you see the light of this world. How many can have it?

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Mom Would Never Say That... How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve Yeah, I used to skip school a lot too Just leave all the lights on. It makes the house look cheerier "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week I don't have a tissue with me. Just use your sleeve Well, if Tim's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day The street-light curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here

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