Jerry's World
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 ell it’s spring and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be watching the 2008 Baseball Season. Oh, you can bet those Baseball Baffoons will be rooting for the Detroit Tigers and going to Comerica Park. Just thinking about those Spoiled Sports Fans makes my butt hurt more than Gary Sheffield after an injection of Human Growth Hormones.
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Oh, you can bet those fussy fans will be sitting in the Corporate Suites at Comerica Park with their plush furniture and watching the replays on a flat screen TV. When I was a kid, we went to the old Tiger Stadium and sat in an obstructed view seat with a swearing drunk guy behind us and some old guy in glasses in front of us keeping score and listening to the game on a transistor radio. Sure we spent most of the game looking at a pole, but we didn’t care we loved it!! | 
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And you can bet those Pampered Prima Donnas will have some fancy buffet in their corporate suites with Chicken Fingers, Short Ribs, Potato Skins, and Cheesecake. If you wanted something to eat at the game when I was a kid you had two choices. You got a hot dog or you got nothing!! The hot dog vendor would have a metal container with hot water and a few dogs floating in it. He would put one hot dog on a soggy bun, fling some mustard on it with a popsicle stick and you were good to go. Sure the hot dogs tasted terrible, but we didn’t care, we were happy to be at the game!!
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| And these baseball players nowadays think they are so tough with their steroid muscles and tattoos. When I was a kid, the Tigers had Gates Brown who was about 250 pounds and didn’t need steroids. The Tigers pulled him out of Jackson State Prison and put a bat in his hands and told him to go out and hit things. Sure he couldn’t field, throw, or run, but they didn’t care because he would scare the crap out of every pitcher he faced. And we loved it!!! |
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So you just sit there in your plush corporate suite watching the Tigers and eating your fancy schmancy food. And while your nibbling on your shrimp cocktail, me and Gator Brown are coming in and he’s got a baseball bat!! We are gonna turn that suite upside down and trash the place, cause Gator wants some Chicken Fingers!! |
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