Well it’s Christmas and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be decorating their houses for the holidays. Oh you can bet they’ll be buying all kinds of animatronics Santa Claus and Reindeer figurines for their front lawns. Just thinking about those Dorky Decorators makes me more wired than the extension cords behind our Christmas Tree on Sussex .
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Oh you can bet those Yuletide Yahoos will be buying those Fancy Schmancy Artificial Trees with the lights already attached. You might as well buy toys that are already broken to save time later. We always used the same lights that my parents used on their first Christmas Tree in 1949. Those lights had more Black Tape than Berry Gordy had at Motown. Then we’d spend hours trying to find the burnt out light bulbs. Sure, when you plugged them in you’d get 110 Volts of electricity through your body, but we didn’t care. We loved it. Because it made us feel Tingly!!

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And those Decorating Derelicts will have some Courier and Ives Village underneath their tree with a train traveling around the tree. When we were kids, we knew the true meaning of Christmas and had a traditional manager with ceramic figurines of Mary, Joseph, and the Baby Jesus. Then we would put a Hot Wheels track around the tree with a “Loop d’ Loop ” going right through the stable. One time, we had an accident and took out all three wise men, but we fixed them. Sure that Balthazar had more glue on him, than Matthew McConaughey playing the bongos, but we didn’t care, we loved it!!!  Because it was Christmas!!
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And I know those Fa La Losers will be synchronizing their outdoor lights to flash to the timing of Christmas music. When we were kids we didn’t have to have any stinkin' technology to make our lights flash. All we did was plug in the space heater in our living room and then lights would dim every 30 seconds while my Mom played the Piano. It was better than anything they got nowadays. Sure, we were one 20 Amp Fuse away from a complete blackout, but we didn’t care... We loved it.

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So you go ahead and spend your money on a bunch of modern decorations made it China .  I’m going to have an Old Fashioned All-American Christmas like we used to. I’m breaking out the old lights and manger set from my Mom and I’m setting up a great display!! And while you are sitting in your driveway watching your lights flash to some Hannah Montana Christmas Song, I’ll just plug in these old-fashioned lights... YEEOWWW!!!

Merry Christmas!!