3. A group of soldiers were standing in the blistering sun facing due west. Their sergeant shouted at them: Right turn! About turn! Left turn! In which direction are they now facing? Answer
4. If the only sister of your mother's only brother has an only child, what would be your relationship to that child? Answer
5. With a 7-minute hourglass and an 11-minute hourglass, can you explain the quickest way to time a boiling egg for 15 minutes? Answer.
June Trivia Question
At which Las Vegas casinos can you find the faces of Julius Caesar, Alexander The Great, King David, and Charlemagne featured prominently throughout?
Last Month's Results
There is only 1 state in the United States with a triangular state flag. Which one?
Congratulations to: Karen Seeling, Reece Mylock, Jerry McCarty, Raelene Butkovich, Buck Tuffiti, Mike Mc
I WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO TAKE A SECOND AND CAST A VOTE IN THIS IMPORTANT CAUCUS. REMEMBER, PEOPLE HAVE DIED FOR YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE IN THIS MCCARTY METRO ELECTION. I WILL POST THE RESULTS IN THE NEXT MONTH'S METRO.
We all know that McCartys are very odd people. This question will not be a surprise to anyone that I am delving into that oddity...
Who are the hottest and hunkiest cartoon characters on TV or in the movies of all time?
LAST MONTH'S RESULTS... GET YOUR DVD AND VCRS READY!!! The MAY QUESTION was If, in the event of being quarantined in a room for a month with a DVD player, and you only could bring in up to 5 DVD's, which ones would you bring?
* Denotes Multiple Votes... Which means it MUST be good.
That Thing You Do*
The Jungle Book
Pride and Prejudice
Toy Story II
You've Got Mail*
Sleepless in Seattle
Rumble in the Bronx
Can't Stop the Music
|Second Hand Lions|
He Said, She Said
Battle Of Briton
In the Kitchen with Jamie Oliver
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
The Kid Stays in the Picture
10 Things I Hate About You
Batman - The Beginning
|ADD YOUR 2 CENTS|
Editor, In regard to your 02:03:04.05.06.07 thing which you claim will never happen again; I beg to differ. I will be emailing you in the year 3007 to have the last laugh!! -Ziggy
ED NOTE: I will have a new email then. It will be Idongiver@sass.com
Kel, Another great job On the Metro. This is from another "autumn" guy who, despite all his lunk headed moves, is still kicking. You do the same. -Mike
ED NOTE: You're a good big brother.
To the editor: Based on your recent commentary and posted review of the Garland Golf Resort I actually feel very comfortable with our groups decision to visit this facility. You see, I spend the majority of my life in a hockey rink during the year so this past season I began bringing a golf club with me to the rink to get the proper feel of a club in sub zero temperatures. The only negative affect could be that if it is sunny or rains my current training regiment will have been a wasted effort. There is another group that goes with us (last name McCarty) who I fear will benefit tremendously from the potential cruel conditions and give them an unfair advantage because worm burners travel farther on ice than grass. Thanks for your review and I look forward to more from you. -"The Holder Of The Green Jacket"
ED NOTE: Lighten up Francis. I'll let you return the green jacket for a yellow raincoat.
Dear Ed, Holly from the TV show Land of the Lost might have been hot but the little monkey carried the show. I was wondering what the monkey is up to these days? -Speed
ED NOTE: Chaka is taking it easy relaxing after his stint on Land of the Lost, and appearing in the movie Apollo 13. He is now at the Actors Convention, meeting people like this guy in the photo.
Editor, I enjoyed reading Steve's "King of My Castle" column, but I have a few problems with it. In the first place, Steve does not have 9 friends. And if he did, the bill would be a heck of a lot more than $100. And Kelly, Seeling, Wally, and Matt would throw up and not be around to pay the bill. And lastly, if there were 10 of them out for drinks, that cheap ass, Steve would pretend he was out with clients and charge it to his company and nobody would pay a thing. -Smoothie
ED NOTE: Hey smooth man. I know Steve McCarty, and you got him all wrong. The only part you got right was Kelly, Seeling, Wally, and Matt not being around when the bill came. They would be tossing up SoCo and Coneys.
Thanks for remembering Former Tonight Show Part-time band leader Tommy Newsom on your website. I had the honor of going to the funeral, where the Minister asked if the choir knew Tommy's favorite song which was "I Love Life". The choir didn't know it but one of the choir members knew the Dance. -Ed MacMahon
ED NOTE: HI-OH!! In a distinct coincidence Ed, I believe you are going to be honored on the same page in the Metro in the very near future.
Dear Editor, I've suspected for some time that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop? -Perplexed
ED NOTE: In reading between the lines, it sounds to me like you have a much bigger problem than just a cracked club head. Having your clubs in the garage might mean they are picking up additional moisture and grime. You may want to make an appointment to have them re-gripped as soon as possible.
Submit an interesting or funny caption for this picture
Last Month's Captions
Nope, no weapons of Mass Destruction here.
I guess the "W" stands for "Winky"
I think I found the weapon of mass terbation
Quit beating around the Bush and tell me when we can get out of Iraq!!
Is it my turn again..... Its always so hard to find.
The guy in front of me is OK, but I'm a little worried about that stranger behind me
I'll have the Bill Clinton special please
Mr. President, I believe this belongs to the guy standing behind you
I'm sorry Mr. President, but John Russo works in furniture. Why??? Just do the math!!!
Can you recognize our secret celebrity?
Last Month's Celebrity
GR Mac, Karen Seeling, Kathlene, Gwenda, Booch, Steve O, Larry Wendt, Chuck, Reece Mylock, Meg S., Mandy Rogers, Eric Swan, Raelene Butkovich, Steven McCarty, Reuben Mathers, Mrs. Steve O, David Letterman
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
JUNE METRO STAFF
Robert Balch, Gerry Bufalini, Jerry McCarty
Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty, Larry McCarty
Margaret McCarty, Steve McCarty, Frank Merriam
David Nowinski, Gwenda Perez, Millard Pickney
Chuck Pottenger, Denise Sidor
Age 4 - not peeing your pants
Age 12 - having friends
Age 17 - having a drivers license
Age 35 - having money
Age 50 - having money
Age 70 - having a drivers license
Age 75 - having friends
Age 80 - not peeing your pants
June 14th is Flag Day!
TOP 10 Lines Overheard At
Gull Lake 23 er... Garland 1
|Why is there a shower curtain on this urinal?|
My hemorrhoids are burning from this scotch
The Deer keeps looking at me
Can I play with the lights
Morrells grow on poop
Nice Apron Kelly
There is no one nice in Garland
|OUR NEWEST METRO CORPORATE SPONSORS|
Thank you to our newest sponsors of the McCarty Metro. The makers of Ritalin, along with Gamblers Anonymous, and the gaming community in VBV... Beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada.
It tells you how many hours and how many seconds you have been alive on this earth and when you were probably conceived. This is cool. After you've finished reading the info, click again, and see what the moon looked like the night you were born. This is neat.
Men Can Be So Insensitive!
A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!" He did just that. For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale
Nobody has seen or heard from him since.
Don't be surprised if somewhere, some day, when you least expect it, someone comes up to you and says...
The McCarty Metro