SEPTEMBER
2006

METRO DATELINE NEWS DELIVERED RIGHT TO YOUR COMPUTER

.

  • DATELINE: GLOUCESTER, MASSACHUSETTS
    The Clinton Township McCartys took a week long trip to Gloucester, MA. They stayed at Margaret's brothers' cottage which is located on Cape Ann, right on the ocean. Because it is on the cape and facing west, the sunsets are just spectacular. Needless to say, the trip was very relaxing. The McCarty's were also joined by Margarets' sister, Marianne, and another of Margaret's brothers' family from Maryland. Chris, Beverly, Matt & Tina Rzepka also enjoyed some R&R.

Brad takes off on the kayak within hours of arrivingChuck works the bbq for a nice arrival dinner
..
Sunset from Chuck's backyardYes, the Metro editor did work on this trip (tough life, huh?)
..
The Rzepkas and McCartys pose for an after dinner shotTina, Austin, Brad & Matt say goodbye


.

Check Out This Hilarious Phone Call
(Click Play Button)

What NOT To Wear On
Your First Day Of School"

It's not the dress code
Click For Video

Bill Gates Steps
Down From Microsoft

Video salute to the chairman
Click For Video

Grand Rapids
Female Dating Videos

Karen, keep an eye on Mike
Click For Video

...

THE McCARTY METRO

PROTECTING OUR READERS

.

  • PROTECTING YOURSELF AT HOME
    This is a really cool idea. Next time you come home for the night and you go to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Start keeping your car keys next to your bed on the night stand when you go to bed at night. If you think someone is trying to get into your house, or if you hear a noise outside your house, just press the panic alarm on your car key chain. Test it' It will go off from most everywhere Inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break in your house, odds are the burglar or rapist won't stick around... after a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. Try yours to make sure it works before you rely on it. Just know that you must press the alarm button again to turn it off. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there... This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
    .

  • IN CASE YOU WEREN'T AWARE...
    DTE Energy will expand its credit reporting program to include full-file reporting for all residential customers, which means that your payment history will be reported on a monthly basis to the major credit bureaus. This change was supposed to take effect sometime this summer. My guess is that they're trying to make it easier to collect on our outrageous gas bills before the winter hits. You can find more information about this here.

  • DATELINE: ATTENTION BEER DRINKERS!

  • DATELINE: CLINTON TOWNSHIP, MICHIGAN
    The Clinton Township McCartys had a new barn / shed built on the back 40. It has plenty of room for all the stuff that was being stored in the garage. Margaret had a novel idea that maybe, she could actually park her car in the garage now that most of the stuff is out. What will she think up next. 

The area is marked off for the concreteThe concrete was poured
..
The day the shed was started, temps flirted with 100oKelly poses by the framed up shed
..
Within just a few more 100o days, the shed was finishedSome item were immediately put in
..
Lots of room in the new shedYou can see the new shed dwarfs the old shed
  • A MASTERCARD WEDDING
    You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding
    out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.
.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000
.
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui: $8,500.
.
...The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.
.
...There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD!
.

AROUND THE NATION

  • DATELINE: ENID, OKLAHOMA
    Andrew Ramsay was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that Ramsay would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t."
    .

  • DATELINE: JUPITER, FLORIDA
    A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard -- which turned his petty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than three years ago, Florida's repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for life without the possibility of parole. ED NOTE: BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY

INTERNATIONAL METRO BUREAU

  • DATELINE: WUPPERTAL, GERMANY
    Admitting his 0-4 record is not impressive "on paper," trainers announced that Lucky, a German shepherd guide dog for the blind in Wuppertal, Germany, is available for his fifth owner. Lucky led his first owner in front of a bus, killing him. Then he led the second off the end of a pier, drowning him. He nudged his third owner off a railway platform in front of an express train, killing him. And he walked his fourth owner into heavy traffic, abandoning him to be hit and killed. The new
    owner won't be told of Lucky's record -- the trainers say the dog might sense nervousness "and do something silly."

  • DATELINE: FRANCE
    The Millau viaduct is part of the new E11 expressway connecting Paris and Barcelona and features the highest bridge piers ever constructed. The tallest is 240 meters high and the overall height will be an impressive 336 meters, making this the highest bridge in the world. They haven't printed enough money to pay me to drive across this bridge!! This bridge is located in Southern France and is the highest bridge in the world.

  • DATELINE: CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA
    Four youths from Canberra, Australia pulled off a trick of breathtaking bravado in order to gain revenge on a mobile speed camera van operating in the area. Three of the group approached the van and distracted the operator's attention by asking a series of questions about how the equipment worked and how many cars the operator could catch in a day. Meanwhile, the fourth musketeer sneaked to the front of the van and unscrewed its license plate. After bidding the van operator goodbye, the friends returned home, fixed the number plate to their car and drove through the camera's radar at high speed - 17 times. As a result, the automated billing system issued 17 speeding tickets to itself. Go Aussies! 
    .

  • DATELINE: PAKISTAN
    The United States Defense Department learned recently that while trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a beautiful ornate Bottle and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?" "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I Don't need any common woman giving me anything" barked Bin Laden. The shocked genie said "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever." Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you!" The annoyed genie said, "So be it !" and disappeared. The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, And Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance. Secretary Rumsfeld only comment was "GOD IS GOOD!"

 

 

.

 


Click The Arrow To Turn The Page

| Home | Metro News Jerry's World | September Calendar | Ben's Travel Log | School Daze |
| Summer Road Trip | Metro Quiz | View From The South | Peanut & Jocko | Metro Health |
| Phamily Phun'| Helpful Tips | Bluegrass Page | Our Planet | Guest Map | Final Thought |

CHECK OUT THESE GREAT FEATURES ALSO ON THE McCARTY METRO

Website Created & Maintained by Kelly McCarty


Copyright 2006


9323 Sussex Avenue  -  Detroit, MI 48228  -  VE8-9470