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 Well, I went to one of these Fast Food Restaurants with those McCarty Grandbrats and I couldn’t believe what I heard. They were ordering a Chicken Caesar Salad at the drive thru window. Well holy boloney!! We used to go to fast food restaurants to get away from that kind of food. Those little Calorie Counting Cry babies wouldn’t last 5 minutes with the fast food we used to eat. We ate unhealthy food and lots of it. And we didn’t need no special menu to make us happy.
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| Those Gourmet Goof Balls love to get the most exotic thing on the menu. “ohhhh….I’ll have the Spicy Chicken Ranch Blue Cheese Sandwich on a Whole Wheat Bun with no onions, extra tomatoes, and the Sauce on the side.” Fiddle Foey!!! When I was a kid, my dad would bring home a grease-dripping bag of Top Hat Hamburgers and the only choice you got was whether you wanted a squashed one on the bottom of the bag or one on the top. All the hamburgers had Ketchup, Mustard, and One Pickle and if you didn’t like it. Too Bad!! You didn’t get any. My dad wouldn’t buy any fries or drinks, so we had to go to the basement and get a Towne Club Pop. We ate greasy plain hamburgers and washed them down with Kola with a K, but we didn’t care, we loved it. | 
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And those little Epicurean Idiots will go to Taco Bell and order Cinnamon Crispas. Like that is supposed to be some Mexican dessert? When I was a kid, everything at Taco Bell was made of the same 4 ingredients. You had your beans, your cheese, your tomato, and your onion. And there wasn’t any Crispas!! You had Tacos, Burritos, Enchiritos and when you finished you got Beano. We got gas at Taco Bell eatin’ the same 4 ingredients and we didn’t need no Stinkin Desserts, and we loved it!!
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| And those Recreational Rascals love to play in the McDonalds Playland. They get their Happy Meal toys then they go climbing through some sweaty play structure that smells like dirty feet. When we were kids we didn’t have a play structures and we didn’t get any toys. The closest we got was the cardboard crown at Burger King which usually tore while you were trying to size it to your head. And if you wanted to play at Burger King when I was a kid, you went in the parking lot and kicked a stick around. Sure we had to watch out for cars, but we didn’t care we were wearing torn cardboard crowns!! |
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So don’t worry about taking those Fast Food Freaks of yours our for a Chinese Chicken Salad and Carrot Sticks, because I’m coming over with a big bag of cold squished hamburgers and a case of Towne Club pop. And after we eat those burgers were gonna go outside and kick a stick around. And they are gonna love it!! |
 
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