| April 30, 2006 | Florida is fantastic! Just got here and love it already. Thank you Steve, Kristen and the McCarty Metro for sending me on this "tough" assignment. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found a place that I think I could live the rest of my life. I love it here. |
| May 14, 2006 | Really heating up. Got to 89 today. Not a problem. The condo is air-conditioned, and I drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper. I also picked up a part time job. Things are great. |
| June 5, 2006 | Started a small tropical plant area on the balcony. Around the condo there are lots of palms and rocks. It is so cool not having to worry about anything but my balcony garden. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. NO MORE SHOVELING SNOW EITHER! Another scorcher today but I love it here. |
| July 1, 2006 | The temperature hasn't been below 90 all week, not even at night. Where are those ocean breezes we heard about; still seems hot. Getting used to it - will take a while, I guess. I sure miss my LP collection, though. I'll have to remember not to leave anything made out of plastic in my car. Got one of those fuzzy steering wheel covers, cheaper than the burn ointment for my hands. I always wondered what burnt flesh smelled like. |
| July 15, 2006 | Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this. At least on the time off of work, I bought a cat to keep me company. I named him Whiskers. |
| July 20, 2006 | I miss Whiskers. He snuck into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, he'd swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the door, he exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told Kristen by phone that he ran away. The car now smells like Kibble and poop. No more pets in this heat! |
| July 25, 2006 | Ocean breezes, my ass. Hot is hot! Steve's air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $20 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Only hope for a break in the heat would be a hurricane. |
| July 30, 2006 | Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Swatting the swamp mosquitoes that are as big as B-52's; I'm still paying on my nice, air conditioned condo in Michigan, and here I am in Florida and I can't even go inside this condo. Why did I ever let Steve, Kristen, and that stinkin' Metro talk me into coming here? |
| August 4, 2006 | 100 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. The electric bill is almost as much as I make on my job. Oh yeah... And two old lady drivers almost ran me off the road. I hate this state. |
| August 8, 2006 | If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his head off. Damn heat! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like old socks!! |
| August 10, 2006 | The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot for two months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. And whoever came up with the statement, "it may be hot, but at least you don't have to shovel it" should die from heat exhaustion. Doesn't it ever rain in this God-forsaken place?? |
| August 14, 2006 | WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 102 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" Gail had to wire me $1,500 to bail me out of jail. |
| August 30, 2006 | Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the condo. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell and drove the damned roaches out of the ground. I wasn't aware they could fly!!! The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the Caribbean with its new $500 windshield. That does it, I QUIT!!! YOU HEAR ME McCARTY METRO!!! I'm moving back to Michigan where all you have to worry about is firing Matt Millen. |
| My Final Entry... A Synopsis Of My
Trip | I hope this state breaks in half and floats to Cuba! There is NO WAY that I am going to let the Metro talk me into doing another travel log. What's next Kelly... Siberia in the winter??? Hitchhiking in Iraq??? Mountain climbing in Tora Bora??? I would rather be dry humped by Larry Wendt than be sent on another assignment for this rag you call a newspaper. Oh yeah... and one other thing.... We're still on for Gull Lake, right??? |
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