3. What do the following words have in common? DEFT, FIRST, CALMNESS, CANOPY, LAUGHING, STUPID, HIJACK. Answer
4. If 5 people can sew 5 dresses in 5 days... How many people will it take to sew 50 dresses in 50 days? Answer
5. A man found himself in a downpour. Not only didn't he have an umbrella, he had no hat or any other object to place over his head. Nor was there any shelter around. Yet his hair didn't get the slightest bit wet. Can you explain why? Answer
6. If you had a piece of paper that was 0.001 inch thick, approximately how tall a pile would it make if it was doubled fifty times? Answer
November Trivia Question . What state has the largest water coastline?
. October Results . What current popular cartoon character was first introduced in the 1930's wearing buttoned pants, and ever since has decided to go au naturale (pantless)?
Donald Duck . Congratulations to: Jerry McCarty, Meg, Buck Tuffiti John Karalis, and Poppy
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Dear Ed. I got a rock! -Charlie Brown ED NOTE: GOOD GRIEF! . Editor... The candle thing (last month) was interesting. It would have been better if the little kid would have taken the candle and held it up to his butt, farted, and lit the other three. ED NOTE: Not to spill the beans, but Peanut & Jocko got that bit saved for for our "sweeps" edition of the McCarty Metro.
.
SOUND OFF TO THE METRO!
.
.
.
Dear Editor. I just read about the Stingray that jumped into a boat and stabbed that guy with its barbed tail. I remember back in 1966, I was riding a Stingray, slipped off the seat and landed on that bar. I was wondering if it is just a coincidence this happening 40 years apart? -Still walking funny ED NOTE: Wow... You just gave me a chill. I can picture Rod Serling telling that story on.... THE TWILIGHT ZONE! . Dear Editor, I have a historical question. Who was the first one to come up with the idea to stuff bread crumbs up a dead birds butt... and then eat it? -Not that there's anything wrong with that. ED NOTE: I'm glad you axed that question, me being kind of a history buff, and an aficionado of animals. It is the same person who was hungry and said "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt." And to wash it down, looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly penis-like things here, and drink whatever comes out?" .
Dear McCarty Metro, I noticed the pictures of Austin McCarty with two babes sitting on his lap. Is that Dance Dance Revolution a babe magnet or what?? I thought memorizing the pattern for Pac Man was a good way to get chicks. -George Clooney
ED NOTE: I'm telling you right now... Girls go for the dancers. Just look at Jerry Springer in "Dancing With The Stars". Talk about a chick magnet??
...ED NOTE: Sorry Margaret! I couldn't help myself!
AT THE BAR OF RUSSO'S WEDDING...
What really irritates me about women is the way they always leave the toilet seat down!
METRO QUOTE o' THE MONTH .
Don't try to balance the budget. Try to balance the earth!
. -Bill Gutowski
Submit A Quote For Next Month's Metro
Metro Caption Contest
Metro Secret Celebrity Contest
Come up with a unique caption for this picture. .
Last Month's Picture & Captions
At least he positioned the hats correctly Mike McCarty can't get used to wearing swimming trunks since his days in McKenzie High School's swim class. At least we can tell that it isn't a McCarty Speedy Gonzalez ran up this naked guys legs Name: Say Hello to my little friend!! Anyone for chips and dip? Have you seen mine...cause I've Seņors Now that's using your head... I mean... oh never mind Not many people can pull off that outfit...my hat's off to ya wow, look at that guy...he must have the biggest nose." One question...where does he keep his keys? That's SOME-brero all right. one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor So... is this the forbidden Mexican hat dance? Aftermath of the Cockroach's first tour of Mexico Do you ever get that feeling when you first wake up: it's gonna be a really bad / good day? I hat the weirdest dream It's a Mexican sun dial: when the big shadow gets to 4 and the little shadow gets to 12, it's happy hour.
Name this famous (or maybe not-so-famous) person? .
Secret Celebrity
Last Month's Secret Celebrity
Rodney Dangerfield
Congratulations to: Jerry McCarty, Steve O, Lake Speed, Jerry, Chuck Buck Tuffiti, and L. Wendt
At least we can agree on one thing... IT'S TURKEY SEASON!!!
From The November McCarty Metro Staff
Robert Balch, Poppy Barsotti, Mike Borelli, Gerry Bufalini Bill Gutowski, Jerome Klotz, Mary Jo Mack, Amanda McCarty Chris McCarty, Jerry McCarty, Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty Larry McCarty, Lauren McCarty, Margaret McCarty, Mike McCarty Sara McCarty, Steve McCarty, Gwenda Perez, Millard Pickney Chuck Pottenger, Todd Rammler, Rick Reilly, John Russo Mary Anne Santarosa, Denise Sidor, Larry Wendt, Jonathan Woodson
November Joke 'o The Month
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? " "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150," she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry but if you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan it's now $150.00."
DON'T FORGET TO VOTE NOVEMBER 7th
How Gossip Got Started
Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term "gossip."
FACT OR FICTION? . The original Thanksgiving Day feast took place in October. It was moved to November to coincide with the Detroit Lions schedule. Canadians, however, still celebrate Thanksgiving in October, while celebrating the Grey Cup in November.