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June 2006

DON'T FORGET!!!
Dan McCarty Golf Classic June 10

ON GUARD UNDER THE BASEMENT STEPS FOR OVER 41 YEARS

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Last Month's Paparazzi
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Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)Trivia Time

1. What does this mean?
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Answer

2. What does this mean?
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Answer

3. What's the missing letter: j?mamjja
Answer
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4.
A bottle of wine costs $10. If the wine is worth $9 more than the bottle, what is the value of the bottle? Answer
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5.
Which day of the week has an anagram? Answer
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6.
Using all the letters each time, how many words can you make from the letters REIAMN? Answer
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7.
Austin was at the zoo started to call out the name of the animal he saw, but he became so excited that he got his words all mixed up. See if you can take all twelve of the letters in "Oh, it's a pom pup!" and rearrange them to make a single word that will be the name of the animal Austin is pointing to. Answer

What is the only fruit or vegetable that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh?
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Answer: 

Your Name: 

May Trivia Answer:
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What is the only state in the US that does not have a straight line anywhere along its border?

"HAWAII"

Congratulations to Eric Swan, Alycen Wiacek, Sis, Buck Tufitti, Larry Wendt, Jennifer Romano, Mike Grant, Matt Scholl, Ryan Rosevear, Karen Burcar, Reece Mylock, Jonathan Woodson, and Magnum PI. All submitted the correct answer.

Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor
Hi Kel, Another dynamite job on the Metro! Man, you know some stuff. My only complaint is The Metro is not convenient to read in the bathroom. - A fan
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ED NOTE: What??? You don't have a desktop computer in your Casa de Peepee? Funny you should mention that though, because I have a couple of subscribers who are not computer owners, and I create a special paper version for them. Each month, I will make that paper version a it available to all Metro subscribers for easy download and print. There is a link at the bottom of this page.

My brother signed up today for the Dan McCarty Golf Classic. He mentioned to me that he wants to make sure you and Steve have our names correct since we have been Nies and Lucci for the past 4 years. Our team is Dan Kresbaugh, Luke Bien, Mike Kresbaugh, and Jeff Martin - Dan Kresbaugh

ED NOTE: Dan... I know Nies & Lucci. I've carried Nies & Lucci's golf bags. Nies & Lucci are friends of mine. Dan... You ARE no Nies & Lucci! STEVE.... You got that....  I guess I told him!
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Dear Editor, What gives with the "fear the 'fro" photo at the top of last month's Metro? How did you get a photo of Ben Wallace in his early years? -Mac
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ED NOTE: I can see your confusion, Mac. The resemblance is uncanny, but you are mistaking Evan McCarty for a youthful Ben Wallace. Now you know... Oh Tay?
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Evan
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Ben
Send Me Your 2 Cents Worth
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Kel, Hey, good job on the Metro... I'm surprised how many people hit that site. I stole your yoga joke for my company newsletter... Hope everyone is doing well. -Larry
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ED NOTE: You didn't have to steal it Lar, Carla e-mailed me the picture. It is a picture of you after the big Lebanon Demolition Derby.

We are all disappointed that the Cockroaches will not be playing together this summer. I understand that the health of one or more of the band members is the cause. Can you offer a medical analysis of the band? -Troy

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ED NOTE: Here's a little tidbit, medically speaking... The Cockroaches do not have the same degree of blood pressure that other mammals have, therefore, cutting off their heads would not cause them to die from bleeding. Nor does a Cockroach need its' head to breathe, but he requires it to eat, see, and sing lead or backup. After a few weeks of being headless, however, most of us would die of either dehydration or starvation for applause. Either way... It ain't pretty.

Will you guys be doin' Karaoke at McClanahans's in Shelby this year before the DMGC? -Ted

ED NOTE: TEEEDDDD!!! Is the Pope, Polish? Does this month's Peanut & Jocko involve "Potty Humor"? Is that really a picture of Larry just above the last Sound Off answer? I hope that answers your question.

 OK Mr. Computer Guru... My hard drive crashed, and I don't want to put a lot of money into it. Can I fix it? -Drive Is Dead
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ED NOTE: Viagra might help your drive, but on to your problem. There are 2 options I have for you. OPTION 1... It's really not too difficult fixing your own hard drive, if the problem is a head crash, or the infamous Seagate "stiction" problem. You will require #4/0 steel wool, paint thinners, WD-40, a few hand tools, and about 45 minutes. First, you need a clean room, so make sure the garage door is closed before you begin. Move those old lawnmower parts off the bench. Disassemble the sealed unit and carefully wash all parts with paint thinners. Bend the read/write heads out of the way, and then disassemble the platter stack. VERY CAREFULLY buff the platter surfaces with the #4/0 steel wool. This will remove any existing data, level out any surface defects, and help to redistribute the magnetic media and fill in those pesky "bad sectors" that most drives have. Reassemble the platter stack, and using a .015" feeler gauge, bend the read/write heads back to the platter surface, using the feeler gauge to set the gap. This is slightly higher gap than the factory uses, but it reduces the chance of head collisions with any flotsam you neglected to remove. Give the heads and platters a good shot of WD-40 and reassemble the unit. If your drive has a filter, replace it with a clean section of gauze pad. All that's left is to low level and DOS format the drive, and you're back in business. OPTION 2... Lay out 50 bucks and buy a new one, cheapskate!

Metro Polling Station - Hanging Chads Not Allowed!Somewhere In Grand Rapids...

Brokeback Mountain
One of my vices is watching old-time westerns late at night when I can't sleep. Unfortunately, after seeing the Academy Award winning, Brokeback Mountain, some of the dialog in the old flicks makes me throw up a little in my mouth, and have nightmares. Here is my top 10 lines that makes me re-swallow my own bile...
  • Gary Cooper: "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"
  • John Wayne: "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"
  • James Stewart: "D-d-d-don't fret---I've been in tight spots before."
  • Wilford Brimley: "Howdy, pardner."
  • Gregory Peck: "You stay here while I sneak around from behind."
  • Jack Elam: "I got me a Saddle Sore."
  • Clint Eastwood: "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like."
  • Walter Brennan: "Let's mount up!"
  • Henry Fonda: "Nice spread ya got there!"
  • Denver Pyle: "Ride'em cowboy!"
  • James Coburn: "I reckon this might hurt a little"

Metro Caption Contest

Come up with a unique caption for this picture.

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Name The Celebrity Contest

Can you name this famous (or maybe not-so-famous) celeb?

Your Name:
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METRO EXCLUSIVE!!! THE HOFFA TIP!
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Speculation has run rampant over what led FBI officials to search a farm in Milford, Michigan for the body of Jimmy Hoffa. The McCarty Metro has learned exclusively, that it was this picture, which hung on the wall of the weathered farm house that peaked the interest of the Federal officials.

June Joke o' The Month

A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.

Later, her husband woke up and said, "You're cute."

Startled, she asked him, "What happened to 'beautiful?'"

"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

The Day After Father's Day

Our Family & Friends Sites

DON'T FORGET!

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Metro Chat Room every Sunday at 9PM!

To The June 2006
McCarty Metro Staff

Bob Balch, Gerry Bufalini, Jerry McCarty, Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty
Larry McCarty, Margaret McCarty, Mike McCarty, Steve McCarty
Gwenda Perez, Millard Pickney, Denise Sidor, Larry Wendt

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Traveling Link Of The Month - CHICAGO
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www.lonelyplanet.com/travel_links/view.cfm?topicID=38

A pumping, show stopping extravaganza of a city.
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DON'T FORGET...
June 14 Is Flag Day!

Link Of The Month

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Astronomy Picture of the Day

Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.
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To The McCarty Metro!

I love cool shades, cat nip, getting my belly rubbed, Bono from the band U2, but the one thing I can't live without is my...

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The McCarty Metro
9323 Sussex Avenue  -  Detroit, MI 48228  -  VE8-9470