The McCarty Metro - A Family Newspaper

Last Month's Paparazzi
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Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)

Coincidence?

1. Write down a mathematical expression, having a value of 24, which uses three equal digits, none of them being 8. Answer

2. Add the figure 2 to 191 and make the answer less than 20. Answer

3. How is it possible to cut a pie into 8 equal pieces with only 3 cuts? Answer

4. Everyone knows that both Christmas day and New Years day always fall on the same day of the week. However, in 1939 the year of the outbreak of World War II, Christmas fell on a Monday and New Years fell on a Sunday. Why? Answer

1981	1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament. 4. Pope died.
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2005	1. Prince Charles got married. 2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe 3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament. 4. Pope died.

In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, somebody...
PLEASE WARN THE POPE!

Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor

Kelly, great family pic for the intro to the Dec/Jan edition. Just one question though. What climbed up and died on Steve O's face below his nose and above his upper lip? -Jerome
ED NOTE: AHHHH! You Noticed!!!

I think that the Andy Rooney suggestion to help cut down on junk mail is a sneaky tactic of the editor to create more job security for Margaret McCarty. -Chiquita B. Nana
ED NOTE: How else am I going to be able to afford my Winnebago?

Dear editor, I know the family is dismayed because they haven't heard the banjo from Grand Rapids lately. Not to worry. I start rehab on my arms today in the aftermath of a pre-Christmas muscular injury. Therapists have assured me my guns will come out blazing, and when they are done with me, I will look like Popeye playing the banjo. My first exercise is how to squint one eye. Lesson 2 is smoking a pipe while laughing like this: "ah-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca." Eventually, they will get around to my arms. Karen, is at Sam's Club as I write this, looking for a year's supply of bluegrass spinach. Well, blow me down, -- In rehab in GR
ED NOTE: YIKES!!! I can't wait for those 6am banjo wake-up calls again. Karen.... DO SOMETHING!!!!

Dear Metro Editor. I took a movie of you at the HydroTube? Click Here To See It. -Steve-0
ED NOTE: As they say on the cartoon... Lippy the Lion and HARDEE HAR HAR!

Top 10 Tips for People Visiting the Super Bowl in Detroit

1. “Illegal Use of the Hands” is a 15 Yard Penalty in the Super Bowl, but an extra $25 in Windsor.
2. There is no Valet Parking at Ford Field. Those people are “car thieves.”
3. While the Steelers are on the Field, there will be other Stealers in your Hotel Room.
4. The Rolling Stones will be appearing in the halftime show at Ford Field and then after the game they will be appearing at Bill Knapp’s Restaurant where they will get 70% off their bills.
5. CBS Censors will be closely watching the halftime show to insure Mick Jagger’s boob doesn’t fall out.
6. Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick has invoked a tax on all visitors called the “Props to my Peeps Tax”
7. The Winter Blast Festival is not to be confused with the Methamphetimine Lab Blast on Parker Street.
8. Because of inclimate weather, the “After-Game Looting” will be postponed until the following Friday.
9. Pregame High Balls will be served to honor former Detroit Lions Chain Gang member Bud Dohring.
10. To kick off Super Bowl week in Detroit Joey Harrington threw out the first football. It was incomplete.

Megan's World

Metro Chit - Chat
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Chat Room every Sunday night at 9PM EST

KIDS BOOKS THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT

1) You're Different-And That's Bad
2) The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3) Robert: Dad's New Wife
4) Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5) The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
6) Kathy Was So Bad That her Mom Stopped Loving Her
7) Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8) All Cats Go to Hell
9) The Little Sissy That Snitched
10) Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends?
11) That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
12) Grandpa Gets a Casket
13) 101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool
14) The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15) Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
16) The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17) Strangers Have the Best Candy
18) Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19) You Were an Accident
20) Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21) Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
22) Your Nightmares Are Real
23) Where Would You Like to be Buried
24) You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown
25) Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things From Your Nose

Our Family & Friends Sites

West Coast Connection Jerry & Kathlene McCarty
Bob & Carl Website Bob Balch
B. U. Professors Page Chuck Rzepka
Knights Of Columbus Kelly McCarty
Mid-Tenn Mark VII Larry McCarty
MD Web Solutions Chris McCarty
Grace Bible Church Larry McCarty

Joke o' The Month
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An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
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"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
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"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

February Metro Contributors:

Robert Balch, Gerry Bufalini, Jerome Klotz, Dennis McCarty, Jerry McCarty, Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty,
Larry McCarty, Margaret McCarty, Steve McCarty, Millard Pickney, Denise Sidor, Mike Wiacek, Daniel Ziemba

Traveling Link Of The Month - HOCKING HILLS, OHIO
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http://www.hockinghills.com/

The Hocking Hills region is home to 9 state parks, over 9000 acres of state forest land, part of the Wayne National Forest, contains 4 nature preserves and one of the largest metro parks in the state. Hiking, fishing, camping, horseback riding, canoeing, rappelling, and bird watching are just a few of the activities visitors to the area enjoy

Link Of The Month

Astronomy Picture of the Day

Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer

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