3. If your uncle's sister is related to you, but is not your aunt, what is the relation? Answer . 4. After a big meal, the night watchman went to work. In the morning, he told his boss he had dreamed that a saboteur planted a bomb in the factory and that he felt it was a warning. The boss promptly fired him. Why? Answer . 5. A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings out a gun and aims it at the man head. The man says thank you and leaves. What happened? Answer
December Trivia Question . What is the most populated capital city in the world?
. November Results What state has the largest water coastline?
Alaska . Congratulations to: Jer, Buck Tufitti, Sara M., Meg S., and Matt Scholl
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Hey Ed. Love the archives. When can we expect more? -Huge Fan of the Metro ED NOTE: I will be releasing the lost editions of the Metro over the next year, as soon as I get the go ahead from my legal advisor, Cuzzin Tony!!! . Why do you have a picture of Jerry McCarty with the megaphone on your sound off page? -Just Curious ED NOTE: Actually, that is an artists rendering of Rosie O'Donnell barking out instructions on "The View"! Our apologies to Jerry.
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SOUND OFF TO THE METRO!
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I'm mixed up. What happened to the Mixology feature that ran in the Metro? Gwenda, I need help. What are some good drinks to serve at Christmas parties? Thanks, - Mac in GR ED NOTE: It's still there. It's now called "Gwenda With A Twist". Without going to the professional (Gwenda) let me just give you 2 quick drinks that my parents served at their swank Christmas parties in the luxurious confines of the star laden McCarty basement. Just remember... for a successful party... serve H&H. (Highballs & Hamms) . Dear Editor, 18 million miles!? I am no math whiz, but the question about doubling a 0.001 inch piece of paper 50 times can't be over a couple of feet. Please, show your work. I think the credibility of The Metro is at stake. Or not. -GR Mac ED NOTE: I'll put it in terms you can understand. If you taught one person to play the banjo, then you both taught someone else, then the four of you taught someone else, and just kept it going, by the time you got to the 50th person that you taught, there would be over 1 quadrillion people on the planet earth playing Cripple Creek. Then comes the Apocalypse.
Wooo-eee, I wonder what the poor people are eatin'
. -Bob McCarty
Submit A Quote For An Upcoming Metro
Metro Caption Contest
Metro Secret Celebrity Contest
Come up with a unique caption for this picture. .
Last Month's Picture & Captions
Oh daddy, you really outdid yourself with the Thanksgiving cocker spaniel this year. -L. Wendt I know, I know. This plaid seat cover clashes with my dining frock. -GR Mac This is gonna leave a mark when it comes out. -Steve-O WOOO WEEEE! -Kelly Someone put a fork in me... I'm done! -Meg S. Got milk? -Jonathan Woodson "Fork! that's a lot of turkey" -Jonathan Woodson
A (very) Lil' HUMOR
Name this famous (or maybe not-so-famous) person? .
Secret Celebrity
Last Month's Secret Celebrity
Dolly Parton
Congratulations to: NO ONE!
A NOTE FROM YOUR EDITOR...
HARVARD READING TEST
This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 50 years of age can't do it!
1. This is this cat 2. This is is cat 3. This is how cat 4. This is to cat 5. This is keep cat 6. This is an cat 7. This is old cat 8. This is fart cat 9. This is busy cat 10. This is for cat 11. This is forty cat 12. This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down, and I betcha you can't resist passing it on
The December McCarty Metro Staff
Gerry Bufalini, Jerome Klotz, Sara Loveridge Jerry McCarty, Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty Margaret McCarty, Mike McCarty, Steve McCarty Gwenda Perez, Millard Pickney, Chuck Pottenger & Denise Sidor,
DECEMBER JOKE o' THE MONTH . A Bible Story Taken Out Of Context . So, after Adam was created, there he was in the Garden of Eden. Of course it wasn't good for him to be all by himself, so the Lord came down to visit. "Adam," He said, "I have a plan to make you much, much happier. I'm going to give you a companion, a helpmate for you, someone who will fulfill your every need and desire. Someone who will be faithful, loving, and obedient. Someone who will make you feel wonderful every day of your life." Adam was stunned. "That sounds incredible." "Well, it is," replied the Lord. "But it doesn't come for free. In fact this is someone so special that it's going to cost and arm and a leg." "That's a pretty high price," said Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"
A Little Fact . October 5 as the date the most people in the U.S. are born. So why October 5? Just a random date? Perhaps, to be born on this date, a baby would most likely have been conceived on New Year's Eve. So, before having that extra glass of champagne, think about October 5th.
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Silent Night was written in 1818, by an Austrian priest Joseph Mohr. He was told the day before Christmas that the church organ was broken and would not be prepared in time for Christmas Eve. He was saddened by this and could not think of Christmas without music, so he wanted to write a carol that could be sung by choir to guitar music. He sat down and wrote three stanzas. Later that night the people in the little Austrian Church sang "Stille Nacht" for the first time.
MOVIE BOO BOO? . The movie "A Christmas Story", was set in the 1940s, however, the red wagons shown in the display in Higbee's corner window at the beginning of the film, bear a Radio Flyer script logo which was designed in 1967.
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MAXINE!
McCARTY METRO Link o' The Month
DOG TRICKS
Type in a command and see what happens ... sit, roll over, down, dance, jump, shake, fetch, play dead etc. and... it's also cute if you type in a command that's not recognized! Make sure you type in "Kiss" at the end.