Well it’s summer and that means those Good-for-Nothing Grandbrats will all go to visit Grandma McCarty. Those Flatulent Free Loaders will walk into Grandma McCarty’s house like they own the place. Just thinking of those Moronic Moochers makes me hotter than the Un-Air Conditioned Family Room in Grandma McCarty’s house. When we were kids, we knew how to respect our Grandma and we were better off for it. These kids today walk into Grandma McCarty’s house and immediately open the refrigerator like they own the place. They start drinking Pepsi and eating Kit Kat Bars like they are going out of style. When we were kids, we visited my Grandma on Friday Nights and we ate what was given to us and we didn’t complain. Sure, we usually got cold, leftover Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Tang to drink, but we loved it. Sure, we left her house with a mixture of powered cheese and powdered orange drink all over our faces, but we didn’t care, we were happy to get anything. | 
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And if Uncle Steve is there you’d think these kids nowadays hit the lotto. “Ohhh….Uncle Steve gave us tickets to the baseball game” Fiddle Foey!! If I was there I would give them a one way ticket to the Moon! When we were kids, all we had was my Mom’s Uncle Jack who would come over and visit my Grandma on Friday Nights. He’d call us by the wrong name and then give us a Butterscotch Candy that had been in his pocket for about a year. Then he’d tell us not to tell anybody!! Sure, we’d have to pick pocket lint off of the candy before we ate, but we were happy with what we had. And sometimes he gave us a quarter, too!!! 
| And when those Media Morons come into my Mom’s house, they immediately run downstairs to play video games or take over the television. We didn’t any have any video games or Cable TV to entertain us at our Grandmas house. We watched “The Wild Wild West” on Friday Nights and then we made our own entertainment. We would lure my Grandma’s little dog “Tiny” with cold Kraft Dinner and then spring a series of elaborate “Tiny Traps.” We would roll up rugs and release them on that little dog when he least expected it. And, sometimes, my Mom’s brother Jack would take us upstairs into the attic and show us his racing pigeons. It was wall to wall bird crap and felt like an Alfred Hitchcock movie, but we didn’t care, we loved it. |
So if you bring your rotten kids to Mom McCarty’s House this summer, teach them a lesson and some respect. I’m gonna tell my Mom to hide all the food and pop and just leave a half of bowl of Macaroni and Cheese on the kitchen table. And if they want some candy they can have one of those Peppermint Candies that taste like chalk. Or they can see what is in Uncle Steve’s pockets……You know what,…tell them to stick with the peppermints. |
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