September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005
Last Month's Paparazzi (want to download a picture, click on the rotating film to go to download page, or click here)
Can't view the slideshow? For Internet Explorer, you can download java capabilities at www.java.com/en/download/windows_automatic.jsp
|What's In This Issue||Off The Wire|
|Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)||This Month's Trivia Contest|
|1. Which are there more of: millimeters in a mile or seconds in a month? Answer|
2. Which is heavier: 1000 kilograms or 1 ton? Answer
3. Which is longer: 250 centimeters or 8 feet? Answer
4. Which is larger: 3 raised to the 5th power or 5 raised to the 3rd power? Answer
5. Which are there more of: ounces in a ton or inches in a kilometer?
|What was the first toy to be in a TV commercial? |
(Hint: It still is sold)
|Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor|
|Kelly's Top 12 Computer Requests|
1. When you call me to move your computer, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. I don't have a life, and I find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
2. When I say I'm coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when I need your password. It's nothing for me to remember 700 screen saver passwords.
3. When you call me, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. I don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.
4. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
5. When I tell you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. I love a good argument.
6. When I tell you that I'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates me.
7. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. I'm sure that will help the problem.
8. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20 pounds of computer sitting on top of them.
9. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the security upgrade I made on 1000 computers before yours. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.
10. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". I don't mind at all hearing my area of professional expertise referred to as crap.
11. When you receive a huge movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. I've got lots of disk space on that mail server.
12. Oh yeah... When I get on the elevator pushing $100,000 worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief, you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?" That's another one that cracks me up no end.
|In A Perfect World|
At The Doctor's Office
|Our Family & Friends Sites|
Want to add your site to our Family & Friends suggestions?
Simple send me an e-mail with the information, and I'll be glad to add it.
|Only In America...|
...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
This Month's Staff
|Joke Of The Month|
Comments from patients made while undergoing colonoscopies...
|Travel USA |
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