The McCarty Metro - A Family Newspaper

September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005 - September 2005

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Last Month's Paparazzi (want to download a picture, click on the rotating film to go to download page, or click here)
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Gas Prices For Your Area

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Traffic & Construction
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Detroit
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What's In This Issue	Off The Wire
Wrap up of the 2005 Dan McCarty Golf Classic Cockroach Reunion Photo's & Video download Larry joins up with Jeff Foxworthy to bash Michigan	A preliminary date for the 2005 Texas Hold 'em Tournament is October 21. Stay tuned to the McCarty Metro for more information when it becomes available!!!

Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)

This Month's Trivia Contest

1. Which are there more of: millimeters in a mile or seconds in a month? Answer

2. Which is heavier: 1000 kilograms or 1 ton? Answer

3. Which is longer: 250 centimeters or 8 feet? Answer

4. Which is larger: 3 raised to the 5th power or 5 raised to the 3rd power? Answer

5. Which are there more of: ounces in a ton or inches in a kilometer?
Answer

What was the first toy to be in a TV commercial?
(Hint: It still is sold)
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Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor

Mr. Editor, The Metro front page has had me looking up at the night sky waiting for Mars to come hurtling towards Earth. I checked out snopes.com (http://www.snopes.com/science/mars.asp) only to find out this phenomena occurred on August 27, 2003. Is news that slow getting out from under the basement steps? -Stiff redneck in TN
ED NOTE: I went back to Gerry Bufalini who submitted the story, only to find out he died 2 years ago.

I likes the banjo muzik ya'll put on dat dere web site. Please put more pictures of Mike on dere too. I thinks he gots a perty mouth. -Cleatis Redneck

Here's an idea for a handicap for next years Dan McCarty Golf Classic. One stroke for each $100 you spent on your golf clubs. Looking at the foursome I was in we would only add about 4 strokes to our total. -Millard
ED NOTE: Hey... Wasn't I in your 4-some?

I was searching my name and it was in your website, however, not as my name-as your last name and salad. Nice to meet you 'cuzin'. MUAHAHA. -Ambrosia McCarty
ED NOTE: Yeah... What's it like to be named after a salad? Tell your brothers Ceasar and 4-Bean that I said "Hi"

Sounding Off On Brad Savage & The Cockroaches

The Cockroach Party Reunion was unbelievable! Who designed the deck that it could support so much weight? -Svelte
ED NOTE: Whenever the camera panned to Brad Savage, it reminded me of a Richard Simmons "Sweatin' To The Oldies" video

Brad savage rules! -Rb

When will the DVD edition of the Cockroach Party Reunion be available? -Groupie
ED NOTE: DVDs are available

Kelly, Unfortunately, I was unable to attend (the Cockroach Party) because I was recovering from a colonoscopy that I'd had earlier in the day. (This is really true!) I'm sure it was fun (not the colonoscopy). -Karen

I attended the Cockroaches reunion concert and at first was surprised at how many people were clapping to the songs... then I realized they were slapping mosquitoes. Do you have any recommended treatments for excessive mosquito bites? -W. Nile
ED NOTE: Pat vinegar all over your body.

Jelly, Thank You!! Had a great time. You and your brother gotta be the nuttiest guys I've ever played music with... and that's why it's always so much fun. 26th year reunion is right around the corner... might want to think about it. Thanks again! -Your friend and fellow bug-ster, Lance

What a concert!!! I am in awe of the great talent I saw on stage tonight. I've already marked the year 2030 for the next reunion. Great job. -Millard Pickney
ED NOTE: Someone dig me up when it happens

Hi Kelly. Good to hear you are playing. Rock on dad-i-o -Larry Decker (The Shy)

Hey Kelly (AKA Brad Savage), I finally got an answer to the question that was gnawing at my brain all week. I must confess. I even went to Google last week and typed in Brad Savage. I learned quite a bit about the Brad Savage's of the world, but I still did not discover it was you until I asked Angela! Thanks for sharing your night with me, I loved the reunion party and all of the music. It was a lot of fun! And I got an answer to Where in the World is Brad Savage? He was right in Bob's backyard! -KP

Sounding Off On The Final Thought

Man, what got stuck up your butt when you were writing your final thought? -Steve-O

Loved the piece at the end of the 'Final Thoughts' about how easy kids have it today!! I'm ten years older so there was NO ATARI!! -Judy

Kelly, Nice rant. You'd make Dennis Miller proud. But it's the truth! -Todd Rammler

Kelly is so loquacious! -Gerard Bufalini

Kelly's Top 12 Computer Requests

1. When you call me to move your computer, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. I don't have a life, and I find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

2. When I say I'm coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when I need your password. It's nothing for me to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

3. When you call me, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. I don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

4. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

5. When I tell you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. I love a good argument.

6. When I tell you that I'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates me.

7. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. I'm sure that will help the problem.

8. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20 pounds of computer sitting on top of them.

9. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the security upgrade I made on 1000 computers before yours. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

10. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". I don't mind at all hearing my area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

11. When you receive a huge movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. I've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

12. Oh yeah... When I get on the elevator pushing $100,000 worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief, you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?" That's another one that cracks me up no end.

In A Perfect World

At The Doctor's Office

Our Family & Friends Sites

West Coast Connection Jerry & Kathlene McCarty
Bob & Carl Website Bob Balch
B. U. Professors Page Chuck Rzepka
Knights Of Columbus Kelly McCarty
Mid-Tenn Mark VII Larry McCarty
MD Web Solutions Chris McCarty
Grace Bible Church Larry McCarty

Add Your Site's Link To The Metro
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Want to add your site to our Family & Friends suggestions?
Simple send me an e-mail with the information, and I'll be glad to add it.

Only In America...

...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
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...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
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...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
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...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
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...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

This Month's Staff

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Jerry McCarty Kelly McCarty Kristen McCarty	Larry McCarty Margaret McCarty Mike McCarty	Steve McCarty Millard Pickney Denise Sidor

Joke Of The Month

Comments from patients made while undergoing colonoscopies...

"Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
"Can you hear me NOW?"
"Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
"You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."
"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
"Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
"Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

Travel USA
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Basketball Hall Of Fame
www.hoophall.com
Springfield, MA

Basketball is commemorated. Learn the history of bball, and see collections and memorabilia. Daily trivia and basketball news are features of the website.

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