Metro... Future Dates
Lance DeVous, former drummer for the Cockroaches, will be playing with his new band Rash X at the "Hayloft" in Mt. Clemens Saturday June 4th. They hit the stage at 10pm.
Jenna Kiara McCarty will be baptized July17, 2005
The Dan McCarty Golf Classic is scheduled for August 6, 2005
Erin McCarty & Scott Marion have set a date of August 27, 2005 for their wedding
|Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)||Interesting?|
|1. What 5-letter word using all capital letters looks the same upside down? |
2. If you multiply all the numbers on the telephone, what is the answer?
3. Take the number of states before Alaska and Hawaii were added. Double that and add the number of "winds." Then subtract the number of Ali Baba’s thieves, not counting Ali Baba. Divide by the number of days in May minus 1. Cube the result. What do you get? Answer
4. Say what you see! "EEEEEEEEEE C" Answer
|Believe it or not, you really can read it!|
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieag. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.
|This Month's Trivia Contest||McCarty Metro Flash Central|
What is the only sport in which the defensive team always keeps possession, and the offensive team can score without actually touching the ball?
|To enjoy these items each month, make sure you have Flash installed on your computer. Don't have it? Download here.|
Last Month's results on the May Update page
|This Month's Caption Contest|
|My New Book|
McCarty Metro Chat Room
The McCarty Metro Chat Room is open 24/7.
EVERYONE IS INVITED!
We have a family & friends chat
every Sunday at 9:30pm EST
Prior to my playing in Gull Lake 21 this year, I invested in many books and magazines to help my game. Immediately after Gull Lake 21, and a 10th place finish, I realized that I could be a better teacher than a golfer. I am in the process of writing my book "Brad Savage, Golf For Thinkers". Here is a glimpse at the table of contents...
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Pinnacle from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance Off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9am
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
Chapter 10 - Finding That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th
Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
Chapter 16 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game
Chapter 18 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer From The Cart Girl
and Give Her a $3 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Bartender.
Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor
.Kelly, just wanted to say thanks for a great Guller. It was my first one and it lived up to all the hype. Just a quick question though; What did you mean when you told Steve, "don't ever invite that Flippin' idiot again????" Had a great time! "sweet Caroline, bom, bom, bom!"
ED NOTE: Hey Lar, It was a great time. Glad you and Dave could come, and look forward to next year. Work on the backups though... You seemed a little pitchy with your bom bom boms. Oh, and can I order the kosher breakfast again next year???
I just came across an old Cockroach Party 45 rpm record. For the heck of it, I played it backwards and it made no sense... just gibberish. Then a freaky thing happened. I decided to play it forward and the same thing ... it made no sense ... just gibberish. Did I get a faulty record?
-Not a disgruntled ex-band member
ED NOTE: I'm not sure who this is, but Carla (your wife) is awfully upset that you jammed that 45 rpm record into her new CD player!
I've been looking for a part time summer job without any luck. Do you have any suggestions or is the Metro hiring? -Freeloading college brat
ED NOTE: Absolutely!!! We are hiring reporters now. We just gave all of our writers a 37% increase in salary over last year, but there are a few extra duties like cleaning up after Peanut, Jocko and Mike McCarty.
Great web site! I lived in Detroit for 10 years on Sussex. I went to Parkman school then moved to the suburbs. Your site brought back some good memories of Detroit. -mac
ED NOTE: Thank you!
I'm having a hankerin' for some fresh picked cherries like we used to get from the backyard on 9323 Sussex. Do you know if the trees are still there ... and if so ... what chance do we have sneaking down the alley and picking some?
ED NOTE: I'll make sure Reba runs interference while you climb the trees. And while you are there, Mike wants his Tiger Stadium turf back.
Metro Instant Message
- When Yellowstone National Park decided to celebrate the anniversary of having established a buffalo game reserve in 1805, they decided to call it their: Bison-tennial.
- If Hal March's great grandfather told him to go forth and multiply, and he did, and his grandson married Tuesday Weld she would be Tuesday March the Sixth.
- Match makers like to strike up a light conversation.
- Chiropractors rub some people the wrong way.
- Scientists say they're close to a cure for dyslexia. Thank Dog for that!
- Did you hear about the Hard disk manufacturer that crashed?
- Brothers in History: Isaac and Fig Newton.
- Engage: Smaller track the HO model trains.
- Success in School by Rita Book.
|Our Friends Sites||Bored At The Office|
Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!!
Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:
You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
No weapons are allowed, other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-punch.
CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day
Thank You To Our May Staff
|Joke Of The Month|
Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Mann went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there.
After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him. "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked. "Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night." "Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?"
"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."
Free E-Mail Updates!