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April 2005

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off the wire

Cadillac Motors has signed on! This is the second time that the motor car company has been proud to sponsor the Dan McCarty Golf Classic to benefit the American Lupus Alliance. This years' event will be held on August 6, 2005 at Greystone Golf & Country Club. The Lupus Alliance is encouraging all people interested in golfing or wishing to make a donation to do so on their website early. Click here to make it happen!


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Gas Prices For Your AreaCool Link Of The Month    NEW!  
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On-Line Ariel View Of Your Home

Microsoft Terra Server
Just Type In Your Address


Quick PuzzleMini Ha Ha
A quick puzzle to sharpen your noggin

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally, I would like to know who came up with this formula and why that person is not running the country. If I had this extraordinarily brilliant mathematical brain, I could probably figure out the odds to winning the power ball AND understand the new IRS laws and actually do my own taxes!!!

1. Grab a  calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by  250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the  last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the  answer?


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This Month's Trivia ContestLast Month's Results
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April Question...

What is the most abundant fruit that is grown on our planet?

Your Name:

Answer:
March Results...

The Old Brass Spittoon can be found at one of two Universities. Name them both.

Congratulations to Brad McCarty, Denise Sidor, Jerry McCarty

The correct answer of course is.. Indiana & Michigan State


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This Month's Optical IllusionLast Month's Caption Contest Results
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Stare at the blinking white dot in the middle.
Do the 3 yellow dots disappear?



McCarty Metro Chat Room
The McCarty Metro Chat Room is open 24/7.

JOIN US!!!
EVERYONE IS INVITED!

We have a family & friends chat
every Sunday at 9:30pm EST

February Results

Winner
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Jer... I think Condolisa Rice just cut one!
-anonymous
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Runners Up
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Psst. Hey, Jer, I thought you could get us tickets to the Oscars. What gives?
Psst ... I loved you on One Day at a Time!
Hey don't look now but I think I see (insert the name of a washed up actor)
ccckkkkkhhh, spit
So Jerry....Tell me more about this Jennifer Love Hewett gal I've
seen you with
Cockroaches
 Didn't you play Schneider on One Day at a Time?
 Jerry.... Smile if you love her!
Say, Mr. McCarty, my dad told me you would have a name tag.

Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor

Awesome site! Really hilarious!
- Josh Storie
ED NOTE: Thanks Josh... Oh, by the way... That's really a dude in the Jessie the Cowgirl outfit!

When the F*&# did FLIP start F*&#ing meaning F%*&! -Wally Jankowski
ED NOTE: And who put the bop in the bop she bop she bop and who put the dip in the dip dee dip dee dip

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Who has Eddie Van Halen been married to? -rgds, Weldon
ED NOTE: Valerie Bertinelli from 1980-2002

Why Not Sound Off To The Metro

Name:
E-Mail:
Comments:

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  I enjoyed last month's information about Cockroaches, but did you know that the largest cockroach on record is one measured at 3.81 inches in length.
-A Cockroach Groupie
ED NOTE: And that distinction proudly belongs to the bass player.

I'm glad you changed that Sassy talk in last month's metro to FLIP instead of the other word.  Nevertheless Buster,  I'm sending a bar of Irish Spring to wash your mouth out.
-Jean McCarty
ED NOTE: Yes Mom.... It is manly yes... BUT I LIKE IT TOO!


The Creation of Michigan 

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over here I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Michigan, the most glorious place on earth. You'll notice that it is made in the fashion of my hand, the Hand of God. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets, and rolling hills. The people from Michigan are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting around them in Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, and Canada." 


The Newest Fuel Gage

Daffy-Nitions

RELENT: To borrow something you borrowed before.
DEPEND: Part of the swimming pool where the diving board is. 
ABUNDANCE: Big party held in a bakery. 
COCONUT: Someone who is crazy about hot chocolate. 
BOBBY SOCKS: Blows delivered by a London Policeman. 
FIXTURE: Do you call the plumber to FIXTURE leaking sink?
FORENSICS: FORENSICS is ten. 
BUDGET: It's stuck so tight I can hardly BUDGET.
EYEBROWS: What I do when I go shopping.
FORECLOSE: Why teenagers go to the mall.
GRATEFUL: What it takes to build a good fire.

Metro Saying
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Our Family & Friends Affiliate SitesBored At The Office
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Play Paintball In The Office    NEW!  
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Add Your Link To Our F&F Affiliate Sites
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Thank You To Our April Staff

Editor:Kelly McCarty
Contributors:.Jerome Klotz, Mary Jo Mack, Jerry McCarty, Kathlene McCarty, Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty, Larry McCarty, Margaret McCarty, Mike McCarty, Steve McCarty

Joke Of The Month

I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions... and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"


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