 off the wire |
| Cadillac Motors has signed on! This is the second time that the motor car company has been proud to sponsor the Dan McCarty Golf Classic to benefit the American Lupus Alliance. This years' event will be held on August 6, 2005 at Greystone Golf & Country Club. The Lupus Alliance is encouraging all people interested in golfing or wishing to make a donation to do so on their website early. Click here to make it happen! |
| . | . | | Gas Prices For Your Area | Cool Link Of The Month NEW! | | . | . |  .. .. .. ..... | |
| Quick Puzzle | Mini Ha Ha | | A quick puzzle to sharpen your noggin Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally, I would like to know who came up with this formula and why that person is not running the country. If I had this extraordinarily brilliant mathematical brain, I could probably figure out the odds to winning the power ball AND understand the new IRS laws and actually do my own taxes!!!
1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
Do you recognize the answer? | 
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| . | . | | This Month's Trivia Contest | Last Month's Results | | . | . | | April Question... What is the most abundant fruit that is grown on our planet? |
| | March Results... The Old Brass Spittoon can be found at one of two Universities. Name them both. Congratulations to Brad McCarty, Denise Sidor, Jerry McCarty The correct answer of course is.. Indiana & Michigan State |
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| . | . | | This Month's Optical Illusion | Last Month's Caption Contest Results | | . | . |
Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor | | .
 I enjoyed last month's information about Cockroaches, but did you know that the largest cockroach on record is one measured at 3.81 inches in length.
-A Cockroach Groupie
ED NOTE: And that distinction proudly belongs to the bass player. I'm glad you changed that Sassy talk in last month's metro to FLIP instead of the other word. Nevertheless Buster, I'm sending a bar of Irish Spring to wash your mouth out.
-Jean McCarty
ED NOTE: Yes Mom.... It is manly yes... BUT I LIKE IT TOO!
The Creation of Michigan
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over here I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Michigan, the most glorious place on earth. You'll notice that it is made in the fashion of my hand, the Hand of God. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets, and rolling hills. The people from Michigan are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting around them in Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, and Canada." | 
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The Newest Fuel Gage 
| Daffy-Nitions RELENT: To borrow something you borrowed before.
DEPEND: Part of the swimming pool where the diving board is.
ABUNDANCE: Big party held in a bakery.
COCONUT: Someone who is crazy about hot chocolate.
BOBBY SOCKS: Blows delivered by a London Policeman.
FIXTURE: Do you call the plumber to FIXTURE leaking sink?
FORENSICS: FORENSICS is ten.
BUDGET: It's stuck so tight I can hardly BUDGET.
EYEBROWS: What I do when I go shopping.
FORECLOSE: Why teenagers go to the mall.
GRATEFUL: What it takes to build a good fire. | Metro Saying
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Thank You To Our April Staff | Editor: | Kelly McCarty | | Contributors:. | Jerome Klotz, Mary Jo Mack, Jerry McCarty, Kathlene McCarty, Kelly McCarty, Kristen McCarty, Larry McCarty, Margaret McCarty, Mike McCarty, Steve McCarty | 
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| | Joke Of The Month I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions... and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!" |
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