What's In This Month's Issue
- Christmas Name Draw
- Thanksgiving Memories
- Turkey Activity Page
- Peanut & Jocko
- Election Coverage
- November Calendar
- Funny Pranks
- Final Thought
I Found Nemo!
Don't Forget To Vote November 2.
Gas Prices For Your Areas
To get you ready for the Trivia Contest below, and the monthly Metro Quiz inside, here are some quick puzzles to sharpen your noggin.
1. What word starts with an "e", ends with an "e" and contains only one letter? Click Here
2. What word, when written in capital letters, is the same forwards, backwards and upsidedown? Click Here
What band was the last group to be conducted by the great John Phillip Sousa, before his death?
Congratulations to... NO ONE!!! No one was able to answer last month's trivia question.
What 5 letter word contains 4 personal pronouns?
Us she he & her
Metro Caption Contest
|Submit A Caption For This Picture...||October Results|
Metro Sound Off
| Liked the website. The stories about the old neighborhood are a crack up, and it was a fun time back then. I'm so sorry to hear of DJ's passing. I would like to sign up for a subscription to the Metro. -Denise (Brandel) Sidor.|
ED - Welcome aboard!
YOU CALL THIS CUSTOMER SERVICE???? I TRY AND READ MY METRO AND I GET A MESSAGE THE THE PAGE CAN'T BE DISPLAYED!!! I WANT A REFUND......WAIT, IT'S FREE....... I WANT SOMETHING DAMNIT!!!! I THINK YOUR CIRCULATION IS GETTING SO LARGE IT'S OVERWHELMING YOUR SERVER!!!! -JK
ED - You know about our "Satisfaction Guaranteed, Or Double Your Money Back" policy. Well, I was so distraught about your lack of ability to turn off your 'Caps Lock' button when you wrote me that I will triple your money back.
What lake has an island that is 50 miles from land that freezes? -Wiacek
ED - You must be referring to one of the quick puzzle questions from last week. Well, it's a small, tranquil lake, with gentle breezes in the summer. It is located in the northern part of the Lower Peninsula of Michigan, just outside a quiet little village called BITEMEMIKE!
Kelly, Another great job on the Metro. I didn't realize it was 12 years old under your tenure. I know other people are reading you. Most of our copy desk at The Press reads it. And my high school buddy Bill Schmidt raved about how great it is. Keep up the good work. - Mike
ED - Thanks Mike. It has been a struggle, what with the attempted hostile take-over by the Joswiak Jabber back in the 60's, the fire that Mrs. O'Leary's cow started in our copy room in the mid 70's, the affirmative action case that was file against us in the 80's, when the public realized that there were no black McCartys, and the big writer walk-out of 1997. But it is all worth it, now that Kristen McCarty has allowed our readers to name her new baby.
Dear Editor, Does the McCarty Metro have a home-repair section. Or is someone on your crack staff handy enough to give such advice? I have an embarrassing problem. Recently, I visited my mother. Let's call her Jean. Anyway, while I was using the bathroom, one of the two plastic screws on the toilet seat broke. I panicked. My first thought was to run. Then I thought to blame one of my brothers. But I calmed down and fessed up to Mum. She said no problem. But what do I do? -Red-faced in GR
ED: Don't worry. We sent out one of our best men to fix the toilet problem. Steve "Gag" McCarty took care of it, but if you can find someone to clean up the puke, it would be appreciated.
McCarty Metro Chat Room
The McCarty Metro Chat Room is open 24 / 7 for its' visitors.
Feel free to chat on-line with the family and friends who are also on the site. Metro subscribers will receive free updates and reminders for pre-scheduled group chat times.
SIGN UP FREE NOW!
Here is a pre-list of November Group Chat Times.
|DOCTORS vs. GUNS|
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services)
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. Yes, that is 80 million.
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year all age groups is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188
Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do." Also remember, not everyone has a gun, but almost everyone has at least one doctor!
Our Family & Friends Affiliate Sites
|Editor:||Thank You To All Of Our Contributors:.|
|Kelly McCarty||Bob Balch|
|Joke Of The Month|
Sitting behind a couple of nuns in game 2 of the World Series (whose habits partially blocked the view of the 3 Red Sox fans), they decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move. In a very loud voice, the first guy said "I think I'm gonna move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there. The second guys said, "I'm going to Montana, there's only 50 nuns living there". The third chimed in "Well, I'm going to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns there". To which one of the nuns turned to the men and in a very calm, gentle, sweet voice said, "Well, why don't you three all go to Hell? There aren't any nuns there!
Please Note: The Metro prior to February, 2004, was a quarterly newsletter.
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